![]() When it’s not being used frequently or for long periods and.When it’s planned and not used in anger or as a threat.When a child has a clear understanding of the rules of time-out.When a parent or caregiver has been properly instructed on how and when to use it.For serious behavior, and when all other alternative strategies haven’t worked.As part of a parenting plan with a focus on positive relationship-building. ![]() MYTH: “Time-out should be used every time there’s a problem…and anyone can start doing it.”įACT: Time-out is a strategy that should only be used: The parent's role is to create the situation that allows the child to do this. This gives children an opportunity to regulate their own emotions and to calm down. It’s defined as time away – usually for one to five minutes – from what psychologists refer to as rewarding stimuli, which includes interesting activities and attention from the parent. MYTH: “Time-out is about making a child suffer.”įACT: Time-out is not meant to be a “punishment”. SO WHAT ARE SOME MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT TIME-OUT? The internet is great for distributing information, but it’s also notorious for publishing and re-publishing misinformation. Goldfish don’t have a 3-second memory, we use a lot more than 10% of our brains and you can’t see the Great Wall of China from space, but that hasn’t stopped many people from printing and believing those things over the years. There’s a lot we think we “know”, based on reading information and “common sense” that’s actually not correct. It’s just the latest example of how a modern myth is created. Unfortunately, by that time, the idea that “time-outs are bad” had caught the attention of media and websites around the world looking for attention-getting headlines. The article received widespread coverage, prompting the article’s own authors, Dr Dan Siegel (M.D.) and Dr Tina Payne Bryson (Ph.D.) to issue a clarification a month later. Then in 2014, an article was published in Time magazine with a headline and introduction that gave the impression that time-out was not only “hurting” children it was supposedly ineffective. Hollywood movies referenced it, parents adopted it en masse without learning important dos and don’t’s, and some people went to extremes, misusing time-out to punish children in unreasonable and harmful ways. ![]() Worse, it became distorted into something it was never meant to be. Eventually, time-out started to lose its meaning. But gradually, the term came to represent something it was never intended to be: a go-to parenting strategy for every child and every situation. Over the past 30 years, so many studies have proven that time-out works, that it got to the point where, as one article puts it, “the data was so consistent that journals got sick of publishing it”.īefore long, the words “time-out” became part of popular culture. If used this way, it’s an effective, non-harmful way to guide children’s behavior and help them learn to regulate their own emotions. The concept of time-out has been extensively researched and refined, but reputable sources all agree: time-out is effective if used as part of a loving, close, positive relationship and it should only be used sparingly and as part of a broad range of positive parenting strategies. Unfortunately, not only is this based on a misunderstanding of both terms, it’s confusing and potentially even harmful in some circumstances. ![]() These days, do a search for “time-out” and you may see a number of viewpoints, including that time-out should be ditched and replaced by something people are calling “time in”. This was the first time parents had been offered an effective but non-punitive way to guide children without using damaging, dangerous or harsh discipline. “Time out from positive reinforcement”, as it was first known, was developed in the 1960s. WILL THE REAL TIME-OUT (AND TIME IN) PLEASE STAND UP What you think you know about “time-out” could be wrong, depending on what you’ve read lately, or who you’ve been talking to. But that’s particularly the case when you’re getting confusing messages, and we’re talking about something as important as children’s development. It’s not easy to be a parent at any time.
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